This blog will primarily be about my ttc (trying to conceive) journey. We are ttc in our 30's as full-time working professionals, and trying for our second baby. We have been blessed with one wonderful child.

I decided to start this blog to record my experiences and express myself, to give information and support to others, and to receive information and support from others. Please understand that although this blog is public, my husband and I plan to keep it anonymous. Please feel free to leave comments or ask any questions. I hope you will share this journey with us!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

BFP! 2WW details

Here's a very detailed account of my BFP cycle and symptoms:

Follicular phase:
This cycle, #8, I forgot to start my clomid on CD 3. I awoke at 3AM that night, (technically CD 4), and took it. I only had mild hotflashes and vivid dreams for two days the week after finishing the clomid doses. This month, instead of having ovarian pains all month until ovulation, I had breast tenderness the whole week before O, which is unusual for me, that was certainly the clomid.

Luteal phase:
I became tired in the days that followed ovulation, 1 and 2 DPO, a sure sign of rising progesterone, and my temps were shooting through the roof.

My first suspicious symptoms began at 5 DPO, breast tenderness and constipation, that day only.

At 6 DPO I believe I had my 2nd estrogen surge, evidenced by a drop in my temps, feeling colder, continued creamy CM, and poor sleep.

The nights of 6, 7 and 9 DPO, I suffered with insomnia. I had never paid enough attention to really know if this was a part of my monthly cycle or not, although I don't usually get insomnia like that. In fact, I believed the insomnia was a sign I was not pregnant because my progesterone levels must have dropped in order for me not to be tired. I awoke all through the night. Early morning of 7 DPO, like 2AM, I awoke and felt extreme nausea, like I was going to hurl at any minute, then my sense of smell became extremely sensitive and I could smell the food on my cat's breath from several feet away! My cat then cuddled with me and his normal cat smell was very strong. Another night I was literally awake from 2AM onwards. That was honestly a horrible night for me because I could not turn off my mind, and I didn't think I was pregnant, so I was having all these depressing thoughts about what if I never get pregnant, and I was literally pleading with God to help me get pregnant, after my husband got up, I cried in bed.

This 2WW I had nasal stuffiness the whole time, and the second week it seemed to progress into a strange "cold," but I didn't feel bad. At 10 and 11 DPO I started sneezing, coughing, and blowing my nose all the time. I don't usually get sick, so that made me suspicious.

My CM was creamy almost the whole 2WW, beginning at 4 DPO, but that is fairly usual for me. Apparently that is a very common pregnancy symptom.

I was also feeling hot most of the 2WW, and noticed my face was flushed, particularly very pink cheeks starting around 9-10 DPO.

I got a mild acne breakout at 10 DPO.

I became emotional starting at 11 DPO and that continues.

I also had very very mild nausea and headache the entire 2WW, I would rate them a 1/10, at the most 2/10, so I couldn't be sure if that was what I was even feeling.

I might have had some abdominal sensations, but they were so non-descript and fleeting that I never took note of them. I did have some ovarian sensations, but also never noted when those occurred.

I took an HPT at 12 DPO with FMU, and got a very very very faint second line. The control line showed up immediately, very dark, so I almost threw the test away, thinking, "it's negative, it's too early to test." I'm so glad I watched it because within a few minutes (within the reaction time) I could begin to discern something and tried to figure out if it was an evap line or my eyes playing tricks on me.

Another HPT at 13 DPO with FMU was faintly positive, darker than the previous test. Yay! This is the first time I've ever had two positive tests!

At 14 DPO with FMU I took a Fact Plus test, when it is positive it will show a "plus" sign. I figured this would be easier for people to read when I tell them. Pictured below are the three tests, the result lines dried darker on the top two, and lighter on the plus test.


This 2WW I did not feel like I did when I had the chemical. I did not have any belly-button sensations at 7 DPO, or twinges all around my abdomen, or even allow myself to "feel" pregnant. I knew the clomid would make me think I was pregnant, so every symptom I got I attributed to clomid. I would get suspicious and think maybe I was pregnant, but I was also telling myself I wasn't just as much if not more so! In a weird way, I think that helped me to relax. I refused to get my hopes up and tried to go about my daily business as best I could.

Although I will say that entering my data into Fertility Friend every day was like a rollercoaster. Temps would go up, my mood would go up, temps down, mood down. And this being my first month of using the website I had the free, initial, VIP status. They have this application called the "Pregnancy Monitor," and a section in it called "Early Pregnancy Signs." Early Pregnancy Signs is on a scale from 0-100 points, the more points, the more likely you are to be pregnant. Those points would rise and fall throughout my 2WW, and that would get my hopes up as the points rose, and hopes down as the points fell. There is an "Intercourse Timing Analyzer" which rated us "High" this month. I also used the VIP Questions Board. I got an in-depth reply from a real woman within a few hours of posting my chart and my questions, she gave me such helpful feedback!! I love VIP status and could see it being very helpful each cycle, and would highly recommend getting it at least for a few cycles, because the information they give is priceless!
Link to my BFP chart.

Friday, March 12, 2010

I'd like to thank the Academy...





I'd like to thank the Academy....no, wait... to thank my awesome blog supporters, my friends and family, God, my obgyns, clomid, all the websites, books, and message boards relating to ttc and pregnancy symptoms, and last but not least my wonderful husband. Without all of your support, I would not have been able to get pregnant or have the support I needed to get here intact. Yes, you read that correctly, I am pregnant!!!!!!! 6 weeks today.






To my friends in real life (IRL), please keep this an absolute secret for now. Please do not post any cryptic messages on Facebook (I say this because I am guilty of having done this), only private communication will do. It is amazing how quickly good news spreads. When we got engaged, people I hadn't spoken to in awhile knew within a few days! We told my husband's family at 4 weeks out of necessity, because of the ski trip. We then told my parents because his parents knew. I like to keep things fair and balanced. Then the rest of the world will know around the end of the first trimester, I suppose. You guys are quite special to know this privileged information so early on, but I had to update you!

Highlighted in purple are items I consider necessary for me to get pregnant.

Things I did this month:
whole dairy
organic milk, eggs, and spinach
pre-natal
Vitamin D3
clomid 50mg CD 3-7
prayer
ate pineapple around and after ovulation
didn't feel like I needed to use pre-seed
refused to get my hopes up during the 2WW
no Fertilaid

Things I did differently this month:
ate meat
perfect BD timing, three days in a row (two days before and day of ovulation),
started temping
wore "Get Lucky!" temporary tattoo with 4 leaf clover on my bikini area (comes with OPK's from early-pregnancy-tests.com)
did yoga, exercise or relaxation daily

Things that would happen the month I get pregnant, of course:
went on a ski trip
purchased Fertility Friend VIP status for 90 days
still bought next month's clomid just in case
told one family member about this blog (Hey, girl!)

Speaking of blogs, I will probably start a new Pregnancy blog at some point. I want to keep my TTC blog private/anonymous, and will probably return to use it in the future. I'll post here to let you know when the new blog is up. I totally understand if you don't want to Follow the pregnancy blog, but if you do, I would love to have your company there too! I'll still be Following you ttc'ers and rooting you on! And as we all know, especially as it is still so early in the pregnancy, I could easily end up right back here anytime. Stay tuned for a post on BFP 2WW symptoms. I'm still thinking of all you ttc'ers and wishing you the best! Hang in there, girls!!

Jane, you were right, that was my month!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I love BBT charting!

Two different docs at two different hospitals told me not to temp. They said it was unreliable, and there were more accurate methods, such as OPKs. But, clomid caused my OPKs to be less reliable, and my body symptoms to decrease, so I realized I needed another method to monitor ovulation.

Temping can provide a lot of information about a woman's cycle that OPKs can not. Most importantly, temping confirms that ovulation occurred, while OPKs can not. You can watch for patterns such as biphasic, triphasic, temp dips, see how quickly your temps rise or when they fall, or if they stay high - all these things indicate different information.

Temping is SO easy!! The hardest thing about it, was finding a basal body thermometer! Walmart doesn't carry them, CVS had one for $11, and Walgreens had one for $9 something, so I bought at Walgreens. This is how I do it: At 6AM I take my temp without turning on a light or putting on my glasses. It takes less than a minute and beeps when it's done, my husband never wakes up. Then I either get up and read the thermometer, or go back to sleep until 7AM. Whenever I get up, I use the handy memory feature and record my temp on paper. Then I enter it into Fertility Friend and it creates my chart. And I'm probably a nerd, but I love plugging in my values every day to see how my chart takes shape! It's so rewarding to believe I ovulated and then have my temps confirm it. I had always thought my temps would be very erratic. But, I am pleasantly surprised that it doesn't matter if my cat wakes me up at 4AM, or if I kick the covers off and wake up cold, or wear flannel pj's to bed and wake up hot and sweaty, amazingly enough, my core temp remains consistent regardless of how I feel outwardly. I never had any idea! Now I know. So simple.

Temping this month helped me definitively pinpoint when ovulation actually happened, something I haven't known until now. It confirms that I have been correct with my body symptoms, even the new ones while on clomid. And going just by them, I would have correctly guessed ovulation. I've been thinking the OPK's were turning positive the day I ovulated, but they really do turn positive the day before ovulation. I think I have a beautiful biphasic pattern this month. The most exciting part was when Fertility Friend put my ovulation crosshairs on the chart, it does that after three days of high temps. I'm new to BBT, so take a look at my chart and please share your analysis!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

User Manual for my Body



I feel like I have a User Manual for my body, thanks to ttc! I have learned about the monthly cycle, read about hormone's affects upon the body, and studied my body's symptoms. Now I can finally explain the waxing and waning in CM, mild pains in my lower abdomen, acne breakouts, emotionality, and feeling hot or tired at certain times of the month. It all makes sense. I had known it was hormonal, but now I know which hormones and what's happening in my cycle. It is incredible how hormones affect so many aspects of ourselves.

Even women who are not ttc, I think it would be helpful for them to learn about the Fertility Awareness Method just so they can read their body signs and understand themselves better. Plus, they will be 10 steps ahead when/if they decide to ttc. Take it from someone who knows and wishes she knew this stuff earlier. Wouldn't all you ttc'ers agree? I'm convinced, every woman should learn her body and it's cycles, ttc or not.

Mid-cycle update: I got a near positive OPK on Valentine's Day, CD 17, and ovulated the next day. I don't get clear positives anymore since I am on clomid. Started temping this month and it's looking good, more on this later. Just got my CD 21 progesterone results back and the nurse said it is "very high," 43.6!!! Also just found out one of my friends is pregnant with her first, I hope we can be pregnant together!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Lesson from the Yoga Mat

I wanted to share a valuable lesson I learned in my yoga class. It might seem like an obvious lesson, but sometimes you hear the right thing at the right time, even if you've heard it before, it can take on a new meaning.

A number of months ago, I was at the height of my ttc frenzy, and completely obsessing in the 2WW. I was beginning to get frustrated with not getting pregnant, and still learning how to deal with my monthly disappointments. My yoga class is on Saturdays, and I was expecting either AF or a positive HPT that weekend. My emotions were running high. I was hormonal, either PMSing or pregnant, and why do the symptoms have to be identical to each other? The 2WW was culminating into what would be either the "best news of my life", or "total devastation." I was already anticipating how discouraged and desperate I would feel if I got AF. I was actually telling myself, "you better be pregnant this month!" I was in a funk before class, and my anxiety increased during class as I thought AF was coming, I even went to the restroom to check.

My yoga teacher asked us to imagine a container large enough to hold our perfections and our imperfections. The lesson for that class was that we are perfect just as we are, wherever we were in a pose, it was just where we needed to be. That was when it literally hit me like a ton of bricks: I am perfect just as I am, pregnant or not, everything is exactly as it should be. This immediately released all my worries and stress, and I felt complete peace and acceptance about whatever was going to happen. I experienced a blissful state, which lingered with me the rest of the weekend. I often remind myself of this lesson, particularly when I am in the 2WW, and it helps me tremendously. So, I share this with you in the hopes that it can help you. Namaste.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Reviews of Fertility and Prenatal Yoga DVDs


These are the only two yoga DVD's I've ever seen.


Yoga Practices for Fertility
by Tami Quinn, and Beth Heller, Pulling Down the Moon, 2004 on video, 2005 on DVD case.

Total run-time unknown. Yoga practice is 40 minutes. DVD Menu selections: Introduction, Breathing, Practice, Svasana, Visualizations, Restorative, Training, and Play All. Filmed in the Pulling Down the Moon studio in the city of Chicago. The studio has hardwood floors and brick walls, complete with city views and noises. The production quality is simple. The music is atmospheric instrumental with a beat. Both instructors have been infertility patients and understand how stressful ttc can be. One instructor narrates while the other demonstrates in front of the class. You can tell they have mid-Western accents. There are male and female students in the class, and a few races and body types are represented. You feel like you are actually in a yoga class, and they explain the basics so this would be a good DVD for beginners in yoga. The practice is gentle and relaxing. They do moon salutations. However, once the practice moved to the floor I found it harder to follow her instructions. I really enjoy both the guided visualizations, "Lake of the Mind," and "Chakra Healing." I find all the Menu selections cumbersome, if you select Play All you have to sit through their Introduction and detailed instruction in how to breathe, but if you select Practice, you miss the breathing section. Also, the end of the Practice includes svasana, so the Svasana section seems a little redundant. It is nice that they continue the music and allow you to stay in svasana as long as you like, in both sections. And I haven't been interested in the Restorative section. I don't know that I would buy this DVD again, I might want to try something else.



Prenatal Yoga
by Shiva Rea, Gaiam, 2000

Total run-time 70 minutes. Yoga practice is 50 minutes. DVD Menu selections: Program, and Interview. Filmed in a beautiful studio in California with nature views outside the large windows. The production quality is professional and aesthetically pleasing. Shiva Rea's voice is low and steady, I find it very soothing. The music is a simple piano piece, which I really like. There are three women, in each trimester of pregnancy, demonstrating varying levels of modification for each pose. The practice flows through Seated poses, Standing poses, and Floor poses. It is a gentle and relaxing total body program. She even does some good kegel exercises. At the end she guides you through a relaxation in svasana pose. It flows well because you can stay there as long as you like, the music continues through the credits, and then it flows back into the Menu screen with continued music. I think this is the gold standard for prenatal yoga. I'd highly recommend this DVD for pregnant women, but it can also be used by ttc women if you don't mind her regular references to "your baby." I prefer Shiva's program and her explanations for the poses. She works the pelvic area and gets more circulation there than the fertility DVD does. A friend gave this DVD to me (thanks, Stephanie!), but I would pay full price for it.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The winter of my discontent


This winter I have morphed into an unhappy, ball of stress with a sedentary lifestyle. I have a desk job, and I really don't think I'm getting enough circulation in my body or reproductive area.
I finally admit to myself that my stress level is hindering our ttc efforts.

What a shame because I know so many great ways to relax, and I'm not using them. I take a weekly power yoga class, and enjoy workouts at the gym (when I'm not too tired to go). I have been trained in Transcendental Meditation (TM), plus I know how to do deep breathing, visualization, and progressive muscle relaxation... but it's like, how often do I really do these things, you know? So, I have made a commitment to myself to do some form of exercise or relaxation technique daily. I will either work out at the gym, meditate, or do yoga. I just received a DVD I had ordered a few days ago, Yoga Practices for Fertility, by Quinn and Heller, so I can do yoga at home every night if I want to. I'm really excited about it!! I think this will make a big difference in my sense of well-being, and fertility.

Also, we are going on a family ski trip to Colorado in the beginning of March! I've never been to Colorado, and can't wait!! But, I haven't been skiing in about 7 years. I really need to kick my butt into gear and try to get conditioned for the trip.

Now, let's play the "What If I got Pregnant this month" game. I think you all know how this goes. This month I should ovulate sometime around Valentine's Day, isn't that an appropriate holiday to make a baby? Then, if I were to get pregnant, I would find out on the ski trip, or hopefully before we go. My period is due the first or second day of the ski trip, don't you just love how periods like to vacation with you? I've researched skiing while pregnant, and although it's a personal decision based on competency and comfort level, the consensus is: don't do it! It is just too risky, even for good skiers, because there are too many other variables, such as someone else crashing into you. So, here's the kicker: If I got pregnant, I would choose not to ski on the trip. My husband's family knows how much I've been looking forward to going skiing, so we would have to tell them immediately! I would prefer to wait until I'm farther along, but I guess, sometimes you have to tell it early.

Thanks to all my new followers, and thank you for all the great comments! Best wishes and babydust to you all!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Clomid works!


1st clomid cycle: Not bad. 33 days, ovulated on CD 18! I'm very happy with this!
My symptoms weren't too bad. While taking the pill I experienced dry mouth, breast sensitivity, and ovarian sensations (as mentioned in the Clomid blog entry). I took the pills at bedtime, and noticed that most of the symptoms occurred overnight or early morning. Stopping the pills caused the worst symptoms, but they faded away within a few days: hot flashes, nightmares, fatigue, dryness, and an itchy forehead :) (may or may not have been related to clomid).


Side note: many hormonal symptoms, generally, seem to happen late at night or early morning. Example- morning sickness (while it can last all day), is often in the morning, and you can have nausea at bedtime too. I wonder if hormonal activity occurs when we sleep. We already know that we produce growth hormone when we sleep, so why not other hormones? Something to think about, and a good reason to get plenty of sleep!

So, I took OPK's from CD 11 to CD 24. And I never got a true positive! Usually, I get a very clear positive for two days. This cycle, I get three days of "near" positives, CD 16, 17, and 18. Confusing! DH and I scrutinized the tests, it was very close, but the consensus was "negative." Also during these near positive days, I had the usual O (ovulation) symptoms: EWCM, a high energy/feel good day (usually occurs the day before I O, still testing this theory), and ovarian sensations. Additionally, with the clomid, I had significantly more ovarian sensations, I was significantly drier, so the EWCM wasn't as noticeable or even definite, my abdomen felt bloated and it felt like my ovaries were going to pop (guess that's the point, huh?).

There are three different kinds of OPK's pictured below: Egens freebies test strips are blue, early-pregnancy-tests.com test strip OPK's are green, and their mid-stream tests are the large white sticks. I definitely prefer early-pregnancy-tests.com OPK's because they are larger and easier to read. The control line is on the left, and the test line is on the right. If the test line is equal to or darker than the control, the OPK test is positive. Important note: do not use FMU for OPK's, you should take the test between 10AM-8PM, that way your LH (luteinizing hormone) levels have had a chance to rise for the day. All the lines have faded, and the test lines were darker when I took the test.





My doc had asked me to call them after I O. On CD 24, I finally called them confused. They told me the only way they could tell if I O'd was with a progesterone blood test. I learned the ideal time for this test is CD 21, but I had it done on CD 25. Progesterone is known as the "pregnancy hormone," it's what helps you maintain a pregnancy, and it's responsible for fatigue, and for your temperature rising after O. My results were "good," 18.2! I ovulated! And I think it was around CD18!


I had a lot of 2WW symptoms this cycle - must be the clomid. I normally feel "hot and dry" during this time, and need to drink more water. My CM dries up, I get more emotional, fatigued, enlarged bb's, I will get a very mild acne breakout, and around a week after O I sometimes feel ovarian sensations. Sometimes I get leg cramps, nausea and tender bb's. This cycle I also had dull headaches, stuffiness, a lot of leg cramps, bellybutton sensations 7-8 DPO (!), and wet CM. I've heard clomid makes you think you are pregnant, so I was on guard about all these promising symptoms. I even had light pink/brown spotting 12 DPO (!), that's when I started to get my hopes up! But it turned into brown spotting 14-15 DPO, and then I got AF. I've been pretty upset. HPT's at 13 and 15 DPO were negative. But my LP was 15 days long this cycle (YAY!), and the clomid shortened my cycle by a few days, from 36 to 33 days, yay!


Get this: the last 4 out of 5 O's have been on a Wednesday, or maybe the next day. Isn't that interesting? Makes me wonder if it is something about going to work or being more active that triggers an O, or maybe a delayed effect from weekend relaxation? Has anyone else noticed any interesting patterns?


Oh, the joys of working full-time, and trying to find time to get to the doctor's office, or even speak to them on the phone (can you sense the sarcasm?). I normally have a very busy schedule and my day is often booked out far in advance. I can run to the lab for bloodwork at lunch, but for doctor's visits, or who knows what else, I need more time. I feel like I've been lucky so far, but I haven't had too many appointments. Guess we'll have to see how everything goes.


The results for DH's semen analysis (SA) came back "normal." Yay! I wanted to know things like sperm count and motility, but the nurse who called me said there were "pages and pages of info." Maybe they don't tell you specific information unless you are working with a fertility clinic. I am relieved and happy that there are no known fertility issues with my husband. However, now I feel responsible for the "problem," and burdened by it. Great. It's me. But, then I try to comfort myself by thinking women are just more complicated than men.


Something has been nagging at me for months, even growing in me, pushing me to make a change in my diet, starting this cycle. I have been a vegetarian for the past 13 years. It has served me well, seemingly, in all areas of my life until now. So, drumroll for major announcement: I will no longer be vegetarian! I will be more accepting of meat, mostly just chicken, in order to meet my iron and protein needs, and perhaps eat less beans. Believing that soybeans have been detrimental to me, and knowing that peas are bad for fertility, has really got me suspicious about the rest of the bean group. I still have a sensitive stomach, so eating too much meat will still upset my stomach. And I understand that many vegetarian women become pregnant and have healthy babies, but, part of me wonders, maybe those women don't have the issues that I apparently do. It is a personal choice, something I'm wanting to try for awhile.


Facebook has been a great way to get and stay in touch with people, and I used to update my status regularly. But I can't update Facebook with anything ttc-related, due to obvious privacy issues. The most important thing in my life right now is trying to get pregnant, and it affects many of my feelings and actions. As a result, I have gradually stopped updating my status, because I don't feel like it is accurately reflecting how I really feel or what is really going on in my life, like I am not acknowledging my reality. And replacing that reality with superficialities feels misleading and disrespectful. Doing so has just felt more and more like a lie over the past year. Particularly as we began to have trouble ttc, and as we edge ever closer to our 1 year mark of ttc, and officially being labeled "infertile."


Also during this cycle, we bought a glider chair and glider ottoman! Babies R Us has the best selection, Target also has a bunch online, but we wanted to try out in person what we were purchasing. We love our Shermag! It will be used as a reading chair in our bedroom, and hopefully double in a nursery one day.


Whew, a lot happened this cycle! Next time I'll have to update sooner! Please subscribe or comment, thanks!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Clomid


I met with my obgyn again, because I was concerned about the 41 day cycles.
She was concerned about the late ovulation. She prescribed me clomid, to take one 50mg pill each day on CD 3-7, and to call her after I ovulate for a progesterone test. Clomid is a first-line fertility medication and the most prescribed. It induces ovulation, and as my doc said, "cleans everything up," so my cycles should be more normal. I am not taking Fertilaid this cycle, although she wasn't specifically against me taking it. Clomid can cause hot flashes, mood swings, dryness, and a more serious, OHSS, Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. I have already noticed dry mouth, some breast sensitivity, and ovarian sensations on CD 5 and 6. I think I'll start doing OPK's on CD 11, as many women ovulate on clomid around CD 14-17. In my case, I'd be happy with anything between CD 18 to 22. And finally on the subject, my insurance did not cover the cost of clomid. The generic was relatively cheap, but still; not cool. And I have heard nasty rumors that insurance companies will deny coverage if a person has ever taken clomid, has anyone else heard that too?

In happier news, I also took one of the First Response Fertility Tests, and the results were "normal," which means I have a normal ovarian reserve and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). You take the test on CD 3 with FMU (first morning urine). It costs $25-$30, but that was worth the confidence boost!

So now you are finally caught up on our 7 month ttc journey. Today is January 1st, 2010! Happy New Year! This is my first cycle with clomid, I am on CD 6, and will be finishing up the clomid tomorrow. I hope that anyone reading this who is also trying to conceive will get their BFP (big fat positive) this cycle!

The new game plan



The new game plan:

  • reduce soy as much as possible
  • try to eat some more organic foods when possible
  • start using OPK's to better monitor ovulation
  • start taking "Fertilaid," which replaces my pre-natal and also has some herbal supplements in it to help regulate the cycle. I felt great on this stuff! I could tell it was working in some way, I noticed changes in CM (cervical mucus), amongst other changes.
  • still use Fertility Awareness and target the 10 day fertile window


I felt empowered and more in control of our ttc.

These changes actually doubled my luteal phase length, from 8 days to 17 days!! But these changes also lengthened my cycle so they were now 41 day cycles. You win some, you lose some. And this pretty much brings us to the present day when I started this blog, you are almost all caught up on this journey, just one last thing...

The soy epiphany


In the wake of the chemical, I was determined to learn from it so it wouldn't happen again. My continued internet research lead me to my soy epiphany, and it was devastating. I had been a vegetarian and my primary source of protein was soy protein. Well, soy has phytoestrogens, and this can cause problems for ttc if you have too much soy. This is all still very controversial, there is a lot of different info out there, so do your research. To my horror, I realized that virtually all our processed foods contain some form of soy protein, soy lecithin, soybean oil, textured vegetable protein... From my pre-natal vitamins, to whole-grain cereals, to cookies, and just about anything else that comes in a package. I realized that it was impossible for us to eliminate soy, we could only reduce it. On a positive note, fermented soy, is the only safe soy to eat while ttc, I think. Fermented soy includes soy sauce, miso, and tempeh.
Here's info on soy:
http://www.soyonlineservice.co.nz/
http://www.westonaprice.org/Myths-Truths-About-Soy.html
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art14831.asp

Here is a really long article that was revolutionary to me, it puts it all together, soy, Omega 3's and Omega 6's. 1=31036">1=31036">http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100245164>1=31036

I further realized just how many hormone mimicking and affecting chemicals we are exposed to daily, and particularly through our diets. Think about the hormones in meats, eggs, and dairy products. Pesticides used on vegetables also mimic hormones, so organic is better. And BPA and water bottles, or any plastics for that reason, also mimic hormones... I will just say this was all very revolutionary for me.

Chemical pregnancy

Ok, I believe I had a chemical pregnancy because my period, aka AF (aunt flo), was late, I had pregnancy symptoms, and I had a faint positive pregnancy test. Remember everyone, a faint positive is still a positive. And I truly felt pregnant, different than I've felt any other month. Coincidentally, I had my annual obgyn appointment during this time, but it was too early to take a pregnancy test. My doc explained I needed to wait 14 days after ovulation to take a pregnancy test. Also, for the first time in my life I spotted after the Pap smear, which is another sign of pregnancy. So, I waited several more days and got my faint positive, just as the doctor had said. Several days later I got AF - the pregnancy didn't stick. It was disappointing, but it didn't really upset me that much because I knew chemical pregnancies were very common, it's just that most women don't know they are happening.

This is when I began to realize something was wrong, and not just chemical pregnancy wrong, but more than that. My cycles have always been around 36 days. This was the first time I figured out when I ovulated, and I ovulated on CD (cycle day) 28. I began to research this stuff on the internet, and learned that ovulation after CD20 is considered "late ovulation." I also learned that being vegetarian will give you longer cycles and make you ovulate later. Most distressing of all, I realized that my luteal phase was too short to sustain a pregnancy. The luteal phase is the part of a woman's cycle from ovulation until her next period. Anything 10 days or less is considered bad for ttc, ideally you want around 14 days. Mine was 8 days that cycle. There's even a term, "luteal phase defect."

Pre-ttc and the initial approaches

We were married about two years when we seriously began planning to have a baby. What an exciting time this was for me! I started reading up on the subject. I attended two pre-conception visits because I had to change doctors due to insurance. I have a generally healthy lifestyle; non-smoker, minimal drinker, lacto-ovo-pescetarian (meaning I do eat those things), and I made sure that I was exercising regularly.

We decided that we would officially start "trying" on our Mediterranean cruise we had planned for May 2009. So, in February 2009, I went off the birth control pill to get a sense of my cycles, and I started taking pre-natals daily. It is generally recommended to those who actually plan for a baby, to stop the pill 3 months in advance, and to be taking a multi-vitamin at least 3 months in advance. It is best if husband takes a multi-vitamin too.

1st approach:
My initial approach was a casual "let's see how it goes naturally" attitude. I was 32, and honestly believed we would be pregnant within several months. I didn't use OPKs (ovulation predictor kits), basal body temping, or even know when I was ovulating. We tried BD (baby dancing) every 3 days for several months, and honestly, that gets tiring and you don't feel like you are focusing on anything! I was pretty clueless and aimless. During this time I was trying to monitor my body symptoms to determine when I was ovulating. It has been very helpful to keep a small calendar to track my cycles, hormonal symptoms, and anything that could possibly relate to ttc, or affect baby, for example, if I got a cold or had x-rays at the dentist.

2nd approach:
After several months of this, I began trying to practice the Fertility Awareness method for natural family planning, except, I did not take my BBT (basal body temperature). Generally they encourage you to BD every other day during the 10-day fertile window. You can estimate your fertile window with an ovulation calculator . The first rule of ttc: Know when you ovulate!

Call it beginner's luck, but our first month doing this, not only could I determine when I ovulated based on body symptoms, but we also achieved a chemical pregnancy! I guess I was right, we were "pregnant" within three months!!